The Black Lie
via @liviafalcaru
Black is usually associated with bad, ugly, dirty, evil and the list goes on. A lie is already bad on its own. No one likes to be lied to, I mean no one always smile or feels good about a lie. But here we are talking about a black lie. This means there is a type of lie that is worse than lying in itself? Really? What could it be then?
What is the biggest lie someone ever told you? The lie that really caused you hurt? While your mind is still roaming to fetch the answer, let me also ask, what about the lie you told yourself and you have been hurting because of it? Ahan! You did not see that coming? Or you want to tell me you are not guilty? Okay, pardon me. But what about the lie you have been living in for years now and you know deep down it is a lie, but you tell yourself every day that it is the reality?
There is something that we all are afraid of. There is something that frightens us and makes us terrified. It has become so extreme that it has assumed the office of ‘dictator’ in our lives. The Greeks call it “Phobia” – extreme fear.
What if I tell you that this is the “Black Lie” we all have been living in. well, you may say “I have no fear, nothing frightens me”. That is beautiful and I salute your courage! But wait a minute, a phobia does not always have to do with a physical thing like water, heights, lights, insects, perhaps death. It could even be a past that hunts your present and thus, you become frightened.
A lot people say when asked about their dislikes; “I hate lies!” Good, if you hate lies, then you must hate the black lie! This is more dangerous than anything else. First of all, understand that fear does not build her house in the Bahamas or on a hill or on a sandy soil, she loves building it in the minds of people! So if you have a mind, prepare for home coming, fear will soon arrive.
Should people have certain fears? Well, on a scale of 0-10, I’ll say 5. But should fear be a Lord or a Governor or a Boss? The answer is NO! Who even elected her? So what if fear is a dictator or Governor in someone’s mind, what can we do? The answer is “impeach her or plan a coup”!
You have to take fear by the horns, look it in the eye and cast it out by all means! It takes some real courage to do that! Whatever you have been afraid of that has held you a prisoner for long, well today the court has granted you bail! Isn’t that good news? Today is Prison break, but if you don’t come out of the prison yard, you might just be saying you don’t want your freedom!
So deal with your fears. Dale Carnegie says, “If you want to conquer fear, don't sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy”. The only solution to fear is to face it; start by talking about it to someone. Imagine if someone was going through the same fear you had and the person came to you for advice, what would you want to advice?
Nelson Mandela says it better, “I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear”. So what’s your excuse?
Written by,
Mmenyene-Abasi Akpakpan